Posted by: healingseeker | January 27, 2010

God has created three windows through which I can see more light

Light at the end of the Tunnel

Light at the end of the Tunnel

27 Jan 2010

God has created three windows through which I can see more light. I learned three pieces of good news from my surgeon this morning.

To back up a bit, I have been rather scared since finding a second tumor on the 21st of January. It was marble-sized and near the 3×5 inch lump located on the left side of my left breast. I have been a bit nervous that I will have my echocardiogram, CT Scan aka Cat Scan, and Bone Scan tomorrow. On the 1st day of February, I will find out where all the cancer cells are located. My big goal is to discover that the cancer is confined to one or both breasts only and that it is nowhere else in my body. So, I would be lying if I told you I have been confident every moment of every day. I am mostly strong; however, I have little thoughts that appear unbidden every now and then throughout the day or when I wake up at night.

Fast forward back to this morning. I had an appointment with my surgeon at 10 am. He was going to look at my Sub Q Port to see how well the incisions had healed since my Jan. 15th operation to have that implanted. I also planned to tell him about the second tumor I discovered while taking a shower on the 21st.

Now we are all on the same page and now ready for the three pieces of good news that I heard.

Good news window #1: That second tumor does not exist. It is simply scar tissue build-up from the biopsy incision. Woo-hoo! The implication is that my cancer is not spreading as fast as I feared. What a relief!

Good news window #2: My 3×5 inch tumor has not gotten any bigger. That was another big relief. Prayer at work!

Get ready! Here is the best news of all!

Good news window #3: My tumor is now mobile. I did not recognize right away why that was good news. I had to ask for an explanation. My surgeon could literally manipulate my tumor and move it around. Huh?

I know that one of the past doctors who had examined my left breast since Dec. 28, 2009 told me that one of the reasons why my tumor was so worrisome was its firmness, its size, and the fact that it did not move.

Now my tumor, who I sometimes call Cousin Rock, based on an allegory or parable I wrote recently, is mobile. It doesn’t have the rock-n-roll blues. It has rock-n-roll rhythm. Go, Cousin Rock!
Why else is this good news?

My surgeon indicated this means that the tumor has not yet had a chance to spread to my muscles or tissues. That means that when I have my Mastectomy around August of 2010 that he will not have to cut into my muscles and tissue. The surgery will therefore be far less painful and the healing time will be faster.

We did discuss possibly having a double Mastectomy given that I have two cancers going on in that same tumor, IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma) which is less aggressive and more common and ILC which is more aggressive, rare, and tends to have a mirroring effect in the second breast.

My surgeon stated that normally, he does not like to remove the second breast based on a fear of what might happen. HOWEVER, … since I have ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma), it might turn out to be a good idea.

He will see me again in six weeks to check if there has been any tumor shrinkage due to my chemo sessions.

I drove to Johnson City (about 45-minute drive) to have lunch with one of my best friends in the world. We ate at Olive Garden. Knowing that I may soon have my taste buds dulled or take a temporary vacation, I savored every bite. Yum! As I was driving, I called my husband, my parents, my older brother, my younger brother, one of my other best girlfriends in the whole world, and another really good girlfriend. I didn’t call anybody else, as I didn’t have any more phone numbers with me.

I was flying high and sang to myself most of the way:
a. R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly”
b. Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah”
I didn’t know all the words; however, I think I might even have been singing in tune. I wouldn’t pass Simon’s standards on American Idol. But the joy and relief I felt is indescribable.

This will give me the strength I need to not be worried about what I will hear on Monday, Feb. 1st.

One final point I would like to make:

I know there are so many churches, prayer circles, and people praying for me along with my own prayers. I truly believe the God took those prayers and helped my tumor go from firmly implanted in my breast to mobile. God is so good!

Thank you to everybody who contributed to those prayers. Thank you for all the good wishes and demonstrations of support. Thank you to my wonderful husband, family, and friends who are standing by me. Most of all, thank you God! I am so very, very, very grateful!

P.S. Here is the story I mentioned in case you would like to check it out.

The Rescue of Little Sadie and Cousin Rock: A little girl named Sadie finds a tiny cave alcove with a small pulsating rock nearby she calls Strange Rock. Each day, Strange Rock grows bigger. One day, it grows so big, Sadie is trapped inside. Who will save Little Sadie before it is too late?
* Click CHAPTER 1 to read the first part of the story called “The Rescue of Little Sadie and Cousin Rock.”
* Click CHAPTER 2 to read the last part of the story called “The Rescue of Little Sadie and Cousin Rock.”
With so much love,
Healing Seeker aka Debbie

27 Jan 2010

God has created three windows through which I can see more light. I learned three pieces of good news from my surgeon this morning.

To back up a bit, I have been rather scared since finding a second tumor on the 21st of January. It was marble-sized and near the 3×5 inch lump located on the left side of my left breast. I have been a bit nervous that I will have my echocardiogram, CT Scan aka Cat Scan, and Bone Scan tomorrow. On the 1st day of February, I will find out where all the cancer cells are located. My big goal is to discover that the cancer is confined to one or both breasts only and that it is nowhere else in my body. So, I would be lying if I told you I have been confident every moment of every day. I am mostly strong; however, I have little thoughts that appear unbidden every now and then throughout the day or when I wake up at night.

Fast forward back to this morning. I had an appointment with my surgeon at 10 am. He was going to look at my Sub Q Port to see how well the incisions had healed since my Jan. 15th operation to have that implanted. I also planned to tell him about the second tumor I discovered while taking a shower on the 21st.

Now we are all on the same page and now ready for the three pieces of good news that I heard.

Good news window #1: That second tumor does not exist. It is simply scar tissue build-up from the biopsy incision. Woo-hoo! The implication is that my cancer is not spreading as fast as I feared. What a relief!

Good news window #2: My 3×5 inch tumor has not gotten any bigger. That was another big relief. Prayer at work!

Get ready! Here is the best news of all!

Good news window #3: My tumor is now mobile. I did not recognize right away why that was good news. I had to ask for an explanation. My surgeon could literally manipulate my tumor and move it around. Huh?

I know that one of the past doctors who had examined my left breast since Dec. 28, 2009 told me that one of the reasons why my tumor was so worrisome was its firmness, its size, and the fact that it did not move.

Now my tumor, who I sometimes call Cousin Rock, based on an allegory or parable I wrote recently, is mobile. It doesn’t have the rock-n-roll blues. It has rock-n-roll rhythm. Go, Cousin Rock!

Why else is this good news?

My surgeon indicated this means that the tumor has not yet had a chance to spread to my muscles or tissues. That means that when I have my Mastectomy around August of 2010 that he will not have to cut into my muscles and tissue. The surgery will therefore be far less painful and the healing time will be faster.

We did discuss possibly having a double Mastectomy given that I have two cancers going on in that same tumor, IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma) which is less aggressive and more common and ILC which is more aggressive, rare, and tends to have a mirroring effect in the second breast.

My surgeon stated that normally, he does not like to remove the second breast based on a fear of what might happen. HOWEVER, … since I have ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma), it might turn out to be a good idea.

He will see me again in six weeks to check if there has been any tumor shrinkage due to my chemo sessions.

I drove to Johnson City (about 45-minute drive) to have lunch with one of my best friends in the world. We ate at Olive Garden. Knowing that I may soon have my taste buds dulled or take a temporary vacation, I savored every bite. Yum! As I was driving, I called my husband, my parents, my older brother, my younger brother, one of my other best girlfriends in the whole world, and another really good girlfriend. I didn’t call anybody else, as I didn’t have any more phone numbers with me.

I was flying high and sang to myself most of the way:

a. R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly”

b. Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah”

I didn’t know all the words; however, I think I might even have been singing in tune. I wouldn’t pass Simon’s standards on American Idol. But the joy and relief I felt is indescribable.

This will give me the strength I need to not be worried about what I will hear on Monday, Feb. 1st.

One final point I would like to make:

I know there are so many churches, prayer circles, and people praying for me along with my own prayers. I truly believe the God took those prayers and helped my tumor go from firmly implanted in my breast to mobile. God is so good!

Thank you to everybody who contributed to those prayers. Thank you for all the good wishes and demonstrations of support. Thank you to my wonderful husband, family, and friends who are standing by me. Most of all, thank you God! I am so very, very, very grateful!

P.S. Here is the story I mentioned in case you would like to check it out.

The Rescue of Little Sadie and Cousin Rock: A little girl named Sadie finds a tiny cave alcove with a small pulsating rock nearby she calls Strange Rock. Each day, Strange Rock grows bigger. One day, it grows so big, Sadie is trapped inside. Who will save Little Sadie before it is too late?

* Click CHAPTER 1 to read the first part of the story called “The Rescue of Little Sadie and Cousin Rock.”

* Click CHAPTER 2 to read the last part of the story called “The Rescue of Little Sadie and Cousin Rock.”

With so much love,

Healing Seeker aka Debbie


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