Edited on 5 January 2010: This is what I wrote on the following day:
Tuesday, 22 December, 2009
Hello from Healing Seeker. I am making this blog anonymous as I don’t wish people to look at me and feel fear or concern for what may or may not be going on. I will be happy to hear from other honest seekers of truth and healing. Perhaps we can support each other as we face what we need to face.
I will share that I am 51 1/2. I live in the Southeast part of the USA. I am normally pretty healthy. I am married with no children; however, I am a very proud aunt.
There is no history of breast cancer in our family. I am not stating that I have breast cancer. I don’t want to think I do. Last night, I discovered a walnut-size lump in my left breast. I am normally a person who avoids going to the doctor at all costs. For one thing, I do NOT have medical insurance. For another thing, I like to handle things spiritually as much as possible.
My husband immediately insisted I make a doctor’s appointment. I have an appointment on December 28th with the health department. I am self-employed as a freelance writer. My husband is a full-time writer. I just started doing this a few months ago, so my income is small. His salary may put us above their cut-off salary. So I may arrive at that appointment and have to go to a full-price doctor. I’ll cross that bridge on Monday.
Back in 1996, I had three major health issues. I had a sty in one of my lower eyelids that had to be surgically removed. It was not cancerous. I had fibroid tumors in my uterine lining. They got surgically removed and were not cancerous either. I had a pea-size lump in my right breast that had to be surgically removed. It was benign. Breast cancer does NOT run in our family. It is likely that this walnut-size lump in my left breast is a cyst or some such thing.
You may be wondering why we did not notice this lump sooner. My husband has been sick for the last six weeks with that bronchial condition that was bad enough to motivate us to sleep in separate bedrooms. Last night, he was enough better that we decided to resume our married life, so to speak. I was showering in preparation and happened to look at my breasts in the mirror. I noticed that the small dimple that had previously existed in my left breast for several months was now extremely pronounced and deeply dented. It no longer looked like a cute little dimple. It now looked like a healed-over puncture wound.
When I felt of this lump, it feels hard and like it is the size of a walnut. I must admit it put a bit of a damper on our love-making; however, we managed to put our concerns aside until later.
I decided that it would be vital to resume my daily spiritual practice. Perhaps this was my body’s way to telling me that this was important and necessary. Since I think best when I write, I felt this blog writing would be the best way to push me into making the time for this. So feel free to join with me as I take this healing journey.
I wish you a happy day and a blessed holiday. Best wishes to you and yours,